I really despise having to scour the Internet for pictures. I feel sort of cheap and tacky about it. July 7th will be the 2 year anniversary of his death. Feeling a bit blue about it ... I was obsessed with him as a teenager. I had all his solo albums on vinyl. I think my mother tossed them when I left home at 18. Damn her. All these pictures are pretty popular. I am too lazy to write much more. My dysphoric adolescent self latched on to this entire story and I just never got over it. Maybe the entire story is one of those archetypes that Jung talks about and/or an everyday myth or something.
I think this above photo is supposed to be a pretty famous one. I like the angle from which it was shot. I had a book with this particular photo. It may have been in color. It may have been large. I don't remember. This picture stays with you. Perhaps the golden ratio is in this pic? Maybe I am naive. I don't know much about the golden ratio. I learned about it briefly in art class when I was 15. Isn't it a natural law of mathematics that can be seen everywhere in nature? If someone knows more about this then me, feel free to post a comment. Seriously ... wilkepedia just isn't doing it for me.
This is another that gets under your skin. I can't describe because I am so tired right now. It seems to be a combination of being fucked up, horribly depressed, exhausted, apathetic, insane, empty, hollow, and tortured. It conveys ennui and an unmeasurable amount of malaise. I looked like this when I woke up every morning in Germany. It reminds me of that quote from Nietze,
"when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks back at you." But there is no evil here. I have used enough fucking adjectives. They are all probably redundant. His eyes remind me of the haunting stare of the Jesus Christ pictures my parents had all around the house. The exception being there is no blood. And I couldn't find any pictures of Jesus over the Internet to compare.
Getting back to the whole "Jesus Christ" thing ... is this a crown of thorns someone put on his head, a laurel, or barbed wire? Whatever it is, it is appropriate. People may hate me for saying this, but I really think that Jesus on the cross image was really sexual. I am not alone with this thought. This thought is addressed in the book:
I did sexualize the image of a crucified Jesus when I was 3 years old. I was attracted to that image. I mean, my family had enough pictures and statues of him around the house. How the hell could I not, especially after seeing this image over and over again. Thank You Michaelangelo:
He really does look like he kind of lost his shit in this picture. I like it. I like all the photos from the Madcap Laughs.
This photo seems so ancient and yet it isn't. In my mind, it captures the era. I really love the light. the shadows, and the angel from which it was shot. I could have been in my mother's womb during this time or I could have been three. Somewhere between ... this photo is just perfect. There is also something very sad about it.
I like this because he looks content - kinda carefree, rather than out of his mind. Just sitting there smoking a cigarette playing or messing with his guitar. I didn't notice he was sitting there in his underwear with his ass partially hanging out. I really hated men's underwear when I was fucking guys. I hated men's underwear even more when I was living in Europe. This is no longer an issue for me, and neither is Jesus Christ.
I love this one.
He looks impish and happy in this one. I think it is kind of nice to see this one after some of the others. I don't want to post any pictures of him as an old man. It is amazing and cruel how the body can betray you. He was really beautiful when he was young.
Comments